I actually stopped in my tracks when I saw it, and could feel myself start to tear up just the tiniest bit. I quickly started walking again, though, not only because I didn’t want Lexi to try to get to it, but because I didn’t want anyone else out walking to wonder what in the world was wrong with me.
Dragonflies have, for years, been my most beloved animal companion. For the last 8-9 years I have watched them, watched for them, and been ever more aware of their presence and meaning in my life. Seeing a large, full-grown, dead dragonfly lying upside down on the sidewalk really threw me off a bit. My first conscious thought was…
“Oh no. He’s lost his magick.”
My second conscious thought was…
“Shit. I have too.”
I do find it incredibly interesting that this symbol came into my life right at the tail-end of the most recent full moon (which also happened to have included the longest lunar eclipse in a century from what I understand). At a time when I’m more and more aware of what is most true for me in my life, and what I would prefer is most true. In other words, at a time when I’m ready for change; ready to reclaim my own magick.
Speaking of magick, and to that end, let’s circle back around to where things stand now and where they’re going from here. I’ve more-or-less finished July’s experiment at this point, but am not ready to be done with it. In fact, I want to add on to it and carry on.
My initial desire for July’s experiment was really just to track my money, to help me get a better idea of where I was spending… to give me some real clarity, backed up by numbers. What I wrote in that first post, though, was a bit different. I wrote that I wanted to experiment with getting through an entire month without spending money on things not needed. I saw, quickly – within the first week, that this was taking it a step too far, too soon. As soon as I realized that, I backed off a bit and gave myself some slack. The desire to experiment with a month of not buying anything not-needed, though? It’s still there.
I know this may sound absolutely ridiculous to some… that it’s so difficult for me to control my spending, and to not spend on anything unnecessary. I know that so many don’t have this choice. I feel like I should include #myprivilegeisshowing – because I know it is. And still, this is my situation, and this is where I am right now, and I want to be honest and direct about it. (Note – part of this is to do with credit card debt that I’ve managed to add up again – so this isn’t just all excess cash lying around, by any means).
So a big part of my August experiment will involve continuing on with the daily tracking. From here on in, though, I’m adding to it a bit. I want to also include not only whether the item was planned or unplanned, the cost, and what it was… I also want to include what payment method I used (a credit card, cash, debit card, check) as well as how I’d categorize it (household, utilities, medical, etc…). I anticipate that this might be a bit tricky at first, while I find my footing with it. I also anticipate that I’ll need to do some writing around each category and what is included within each, and why. Otherwise – hey I know myself well enough to know that – I’ll forget, and then the data is all but useless.
On top of the daily tracking, I intend to skip buying anything that’s not necessary for our normal functioning as a family for the month. In other words, I’ll – obviously – make my car payment, utilities payments, child care payments, food & household items, back-to-school needs for TLD, etc… I’ll also continue to pay for weekly eating-out. I want to say 3 times / week with this because I know that on Monday’s I do enjoy stopping for breakfast on my drive in to the office. One other day during the week, I’d also like to be able to take The Little Dude out for lunch so we can get out of the house together. Then we normally eat out as a family at least twice on the weekends, but I’m only going to count one of those since that’s normally what I pay for. Anything else: clothing for me, books, courses, house stuff that I’d like (but is not necessary)… all out for the month.
Ok, so now we got all that out of the way…. on to the fun stuff!
In addition to the financial aspects of my experiments, there’s also this… Last month I started choosing something to do (almost) every day after work that I found fun, just for the sake of doing something fun; something that feels good to me. That will continue in August, though without the additional purchases I’d made in July (for ingredients to create the marshmallow root detangler, the natural lip balms, planting herbs, the digital art course, etc…). I think I may need to get a bit creative if I want to make other things in August. Regardless, I have plenty to keep me occupied for a month, so I don’t anticipate that this minor detail will make that much of a difference.
In fact, if the next week or so are anything like this past week, it won’t be a problem at all. I spent a good bit of time this past week… writing! Yep, totally counts, because it’s something that brings me pleasure on various levels.
Fortunately, I didn’t do just that, though. I do have some pictures to share of activities from the past week.
I finally made that ‘Aveda blend’ mix that I talked about in my last post. You can see from the picture above that it’s in a super tiny bottle. It turned out to be absolutely perfect, though! I used 9 drops of each of the 6 essential oils, and they fit beautifully. Couldn’t have planned that any better if I’d tried. Yay!
But the really big thing?? I ordered some live yeast, and am gonna learn how to keep my own batch alive to make amazing bread (and other delicious yumminess)!
Super awesome, right?! Cannot tell you how excited I was to do this. Am hoping to have a fabulous update next week too.. something along the lines of.. I MADE BREAD!!! We shall see 😉
Oh, and last – but not least – some more digital art. I think I’ve found, or remembered, my style.
So there we are! I’m feeling good about how month one of The Experiments has gone, and am looking forward to Round Two. See ya next week… same Bat Time, same Bat Channel. 🙂